1. "Nobody Move, Nobody Gets Hurt", We Are Scientists, With Love And Squalor


2. "Boys in the Band", The Libertines, Up the Bracket


3. "Jennifer Louise", Of Montreal, Aldhils Arboretum - Buy from AudioLunchbox


4. "Jane Fonda", Mickey Avalon, Mickey Avalon


5. "Shooter", Lil Wayne, Tha Carter II


6. "What's Mine Is Yours", Sleater-Kinney, The Woods


7. "Off the Record", My Morning Jacket, Z


8. "Jet Pilot", Son Volt, Okemah And The Melody Of Riot


9. "Kevin is gay", Giant Drag, Hearts and Unicorns


10. "Black", Okkervil River, Black Sheep Boy - Buy from AudioLunchbox


11. "Black Cab", Jens Lekman, Oh You're So Silent Jens - Buy from AudioLunchbox


12. "Already Gone", Admiral Twin, Creatures of Bread & Wine - Buy from AudioLunchbox


13. "Amassed Complications", Food Will Win the War - Listen on their MySpace page


14. "Diminishing Returns", Harvey Danger, Little by Little - ENTIRE ALBUM FOR FREE


15. "What I`m Looking For", Brendan Benson, The Alternative To Love

People who would want to yell at me to update this, I am cutting you off at the pass.

Points of order:

• I like the Go! Team album.
• I got a bunch of DVDs for Christmas.
• I like relaxing. Why is it that I don't schedule much of it? I do end up relaxing often enough, but I never schedule time to do so, so my I usually feel guilty during relaxing-time. I liked not feeling guilty for relaxing the past couple of days.
• The 2006 Peanuts calendar I preemptively hung up on the wall earlier today just fell down as I was typing the previous bullet point. Ominous! Not looking good, 2006!

I am in DC, jackasses. It is cold here, but it's colder in New York, so it really doesn't feel that cold, which makes me really think about the subjectivity of opinions and life and my whole existence. Not really! (fart noise)!

So anyway, in awesome Web 2.0 news, Yahoo just bought del.icio.us. (It's good I mention it here, too, because I know most of you consider this dumbass blog your main source of tech news.) Overall, this is a good thing, I think, especially if Yahoo sacks up and buys Digg while they're at it, as has been suggested.

Of course, then I'll have to get a Yahoo account. God damn it.

Anyone want to explain to me why MySpace always feels creppy? My friend pointed this out to me before I joined, and he was absolutely right. It's the only website I've ever been on that feels like it has some sort of sticky film all over it, like when you're at a friend's place, and you put your hand down on a couch, and it feels wet, and then you start thinking the couch also smells weird, and whether or not it's true, it's in your head now, and all you can think about is your friend and his girlfriend doing it right where you're sitting, and that gets your soldiers marching a little bit, and pretty soon there's another wet spot on the couch, and thus completes the Circle of Life.

This blog has reduced my humor to stream-of-consciousness non sequiturs and sentences that go on longer than they should. I'm so much more than that... OR AM I? (fart noise)!

Please do listen to Ricky Gervais' podcast, as it's very good: rickygervais.com/podcast.php

Note: The fart noises in this post are dedicated to Brandy Barber, a real high-class broad I know.

OK, jerks, fine, here's an update in my dumbass blog.

To sate your insatiable pangs, I will bestow upon you a mundane list of things I did recently. And I will apparently use weird words on the way to that list.

1. Just saw The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Not crazy about it. I just didn't buy it most of the time. It felt a little silly. Wanted to like it. Did not. Bring on Kong.

2. Saw Billy Cosby at the historic Apollo Theater on Sunday. Thanks to my good sister, Pamela. Cheers up to Pam, and cheers up to Mr. Bill. Good times were had by all. Except this one woman in a wheelchair whose husband seemed on a mission to find her the most "comfortable" place in the theater, despite her protests that she was fine where she was. He insisted and insisted, and we tried up by the front of the stage in the wheelchair, and we tried down at the back of the stage, out of the wheelchair, and I could hear all of this because he was not adept at the art of whistling (in the dark, or otherwise).

3. Just made a They Might Be Giants reference in that last item, and I didn't want to, but I felt like this stupid journal is the place for terrible They Might Be Giants references, so I gave my internal editor the night off, and I typed it in here.

4. Received an iPod Nano in return for turning 28 years old. A fair trade.

5. Went on two dates. Perhaps maybe the first two honest to goodness date-y dates I've ever been on. I am not impressed by this dating business. I'm not good at it, and I don't know what's supposed to be happening, and I turn into Weird, Overly Nice, Nervously Funny Porter who, if you know him, is a fine guy really, but the whole thing with dates is, you don't know him, do you? It's OK. I don't need to date well. I just need to bide my time until the company I work for decides to build a nightclub in Las Vegas and picks me to head the project. Then while there, I'll have a passionate one-night stand with a beautiful Mexican girl. She flee the next morning without leaving any contact information, and I'll spend months searching for her to no avail. Then she'll appear on my doorstep, and I'll be overjoyed until I find out she's pregnant with my baby. Against all better judgement, I'll fall in love with her and decide to get married. But marraige and pregnancy will prove trying, and after thinking she's had a miscarraige, we'll separate, and she'll file for divorce. I'll move back to New York and try to move on, but signs everywhere point me to return to her, and on the day our divorce papers are about to become official, I'll trek deep into the Mexican outback to find her, only to discover she's back in Vegas. I'll camp out on the state line to flag down her car, and when I finally see her, she'll curse me... and then go into labor. She'll have the baby, we'll get back together and, because our divorce will have already officially gone through, get remarried in a gorgeous ceremony with both our families by our side.

And if that doesn't happen I'll get one o' them mail-order Russians I seen on them webcams.